- Carl Anderson
Judas. There is something about Judas. Something that I've never been able to get over about his life, and something that I've never seen captured quite right in any sermon, book, film, or documentary. Something I've never been able to capture, even in my own thoughts.
I've often wished that we had more insight into Judas' mind - so we could know what he was thinking as he saw Jesus minister, heal, and teach. Where were His loyalties? What were his goals? What did he think Jesus was here to do, and when did he think it was going to be accomplished?
What made him a thief?
What made him a traitor?
More importantly, what made him a follower of Jesus?
I can't claim to answer any of these questions, and we'll likely never know any of his motivations while on this earth, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it, and often feeling as if Judas is both misunderstood and tossed aside by most people today.
Many may think I sympathize with Judas, but I don't believe that's the case.
More specifically, I think I identify with him.
What would I do, in the situations he was put in? How would I feel, having all of my religious beliefs turned upside down, all of my hopes and aspirations for this world turned inside out, all of my ideals and loves and hobbies being thrown on the ground in the favor of following a Messiah who tells me the real reward comes only after death? To be told that fighting for freedom is not a real solution, and reigning over a kingdom not permanent enough to matter?
It had to be hard.
It had to be, at times, unbearable.
None of this makes Judas any better for what he did, and it certainly doesn't make Christ any less perfect, but it does shine some light on who we all are in our imperfect humanity. Often our qualities aren't flattering - we're completely misunderstood by everyone including ourselves, incredibly confused and purposeless, and driven by greed and self-serving motivations, even when trying to do good.
We need to turn to Christ, and submit all things to Him. We can never get enough, not even when He's standing right in front of us and speaking.
Judas makes that clear.
I posted the picture above, from - of all movies - Jesus Christ Superstar, for a reason. Judas is portrayed in many different movies, and each take on him is unique. In some films he is a confused and bitter disciple. In others, like The Last Temptation, he is a loyal but bloodthirsty friend.
In Jesus Christ Superstar, however, he is simply a misguided man of God, trying to do the best he can. Sometimes, he thinks his plans are better than Jesus'. Sometimes, he lets that thinking get in the way.
Sometimes, I do the same.
